If you enjoyed the first Aquaman movie well enough, there’s no real reason to dislike the second. There are, however, plenty of “fake” reasons disseminated online, like the rumor the film will somehow kill off his baby (false) or the arbitrary decision that because there’s not likely to be a threequel, the sequel is somehow worthless. Michael Keaton only made two Batman movies, The Flash notwithstanding, yet that fact doesn’t invalidate Batman Returns.
Anyway, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is more of the same. More Jason Momoa Aquabro-isms, more Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), more Orm (Patrick Wilson), more Topo the octopus (hooray!),slightly less Mera (Amber Heard), and lots of undersea vistas full of weird technology and fish-people. It lacks the novelty of showing all of that for the first time or of Julie Andrews voicing a kaiju, but it does offer Martin Short as underwater Jabba the Hutt hanging out with the bootleg Pirates of the Caribbean.
The Way of Whatever
Part of the reason the first Aquaman did so well is that it delivered Avatar-scale spectacle and world-building in a way most of its fellow superhero films hadn’t. Warner Bros. has emphasized that connection in recent promos, pushing the 3D screenings, but this time it has to reckon with an actual Avatar sequel — dealing heavily with underwater settings, no less — now on streaming. It’s easier to play compare-contrast, and frankly, James Wan is good at what he does, but he’s no James Cameron. What Wan’s good at is bringing batshit insanity to everything he touches, in this case, going ever more bizarre with sea creatures. When he tries to shoehorn in themes and morals, he’s adrift.
The 3D, however, provides a great cover for what might otherwise look like more obvious greenscreens.
As in the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, characters in Aquaman: the Lost Kingdom articulate the themes out loud. Boys need brothers even when they fight with them, parents are the real superheroes, and global warming as a side-effect of self-gratification is extraordinarily dangerous to everyone — these are all things that we know matter because the dialogue says so. But the story doesn’t necessarily follow through. If global warming is threatening to unleash a previously frozen kingdom full of danger, one must ask how the world functioned before said perilous place was frozen? And while the movie gives lip service to Orm’s prejudices being detrimental, the most tangible metaphor it offers is that he hasn’t tried cheeseburgers yet. Does that make vegans bigots?
Aqua-Manta
Continuing the lingering villain thread from the first film, Black Manta is still searching for Atlantis when he instead comes across the lost kingdom, also known as Necrus, which is a huge hint as to what a person might find there. Finding the sort of magical trident that seems all too common in this world, Manta picks it up and becomes possessed by the spirit of King Kordax (Pilou Asbaek), who promises him eternal power if he’ll just free the imprisoned monarch’s body from both the ice and an enchanted lock. The first part can be achieved by burning ancient Atlantean toxic waste to accelerate climate change — apparently, the undersea inhabitants were already gross polluters centuries before humans industrialized. The second requires a sample of blood from Atlantis’ royal lineage.
Meanwhile, Arthur/Aquaman finds that it’s hard out here for a king, who’s also a new father, especially when his queen, Mera, doesn’t appear to be helping that much. Though not cut from the movie, Heard does seem like she might have been absent from reshoots. So Grandpa Tom (Temuera Morrison) does a lot of babysitting but also appears to spend most of his family time drinking Guinness. Interesting product placement, that.
With Black Manta totally willing and able to cause complete ecological collapse just so he can get revenge on one person, Arthur turns to his imprisoned fascist brother Orm. The one-time Ocean Master worked with Manta last time around, so maybe he can find him again. This prospect requires covertly freeing Orm from a landlocked prison staffed by mummies and hoping he’ll turn to the side of good relatively quickly. Fortunately, Topo the octopus is there for backup, though how he survives in the desert is anybody’s guess.
Paging Dr. Evil
Black Manta’s schemes and volcano base may bring to mind, if not James Bond, some of the villains and threats from TV’s Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and Man From Atlantis. It’s a total cheese-fest story-wise but visualized as expensively as humanly possible. When a final battle builds, the film becomes more like Peter Jackson’s army of the dead scenes in The Lord of the Rings — a one-time low-budget horrormeister unleashing his old instincts on a prestige project. Though the story beats are as obvious as possible, at least the eye candy is constant. Topo should be a hit with kids, as should Storm the giant seahorse, and a moment of whale vengeance is simultaneously cute and terrifying.
Yet if Wan’s visual instincts are top-notch, his audio impulses aren’t so much. Director jail might be a strong penalty, but he ought to at least do director community service for relying on “Born to Be Wild” and “Spirit in the Sky” as soundtrack needle-drops. It would be like a Masters of the Universe movie introducing Skeletor with “Bad to the Bone.” Aquaman at least deserves “Sea of Heartbreak” if we’re going for obvious oldies.
As it’s a male-bonding movie, The Lost Kingdom feels — at least to my eyes — significantly less horny than the first, in which Momoa and Heard frequently looked like they were starring in the porn parody of their own film. Fanfic shippers more into Momoa-Wilson slash, perhaps, may feel differently than I do. At any rate, babies are pretty good at killing all thoughts of romance, and the baby gets more screen time than it even needs. Viewers don’t have to bond with a particular infant in order to be upset when it’s in jeopardy.
Snyderverse out to Sea
And so, the DCEU, having begun with the ultra-serious Man of Steel, concludes with an over-the-top, feature-length version of The Little Mermaid’s “Under the Sea,” more or less. The contrast in tones couldn’t be bigger, and even the very final shot of the mid-credits scene is arguably a really subtle cinephile gag. What an incredibly strange journey it’s been, from Russell Crowe’s Jor-El flying a dragon to steal a DNA skull to Patrick Wilson…well, you’ll see.
If, like Aquaman, you enjoy your cheeseburgers extra greasy and accompanied by intoxicants, you should find The Lost Kingdom to be the cinematic equivalent of the same. Scorsese acolytes wouldn’t be wrong to call it a theme park ride, especially in 3D Imax with seats that rumble at every punch thrown, as was the case at the L.A. press screening. It’s disposable entertainment that feels at times like the world’s coolest screensaver or weirdest aquarium. Dive in, but don’t expect to get too deep.
Grade: 3/5
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom opens Dec 22 in theaters.
